Actually, I don't care for the phrase "closing our doors" at all, and would prefer that we say we "will not be turning away new intakes for any longer than is absolutely necessary", or something similar. On Tue, Jun 14, 2011 at 8:56 PM, Vincent J. Hrovat <1217@vhrovat.org> wrote:

Looks good to me, thanks Pam. My next step would’ve been about the same as yours, to make the message more terse. In particular, I think that the “contact us to discuss alternatives” says all that it needs to say. We need to talk to people about every potential intake anyway, so there’s no need to parse out every possible scenario.

Somebody else on discuss list said that the “not closing our doors forever” made it sound like we were going out of business. I disagree (more specifically, I think that is taking a part of a sentence out of context) but, if we can spare three more words we could expand that to say, “not closing our doors to new intakes forever.” I don’t feel too strongly either way.

Thanks.

--VH

*From:* media-advisors-bounces@mickaboo.org [mailto: media-advisors-bounces@mickaboo.org] *On Behalf Of *Lee, Pamela A *Sent:* Tuesday, June 14, 2011 8:42 PM *To:* Media-advisors@mickaboo.org *Subject:* [Media-advisors] website message - drafting continued

To Vinny’s point, I think our full message needs to “fit” on the same webpage, without the need to page down to see the rest of the message. I’ve been part of an eCommerce group for years, and it’s proven that messages “above the fold” are more effective than those “below” the fold.

Attached is a re-draft to achieve that purpose without (I hope) losing too much of the punch which Vinny artfully created. It’s a thought – I invite further artistic help!

-Pam <> ------------------------------

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I like this - "contact us to discuss alternatives" How current is our list of other rescues? On Tue, Jun 14, 2011 at 9:38 PM, Vincent J. Hrovat <1217@vhrovat.org> wrote:

Please see attached, with the following change:

...

We are not closing our doors forever - just for as long as is necessary

Is now:

...

We regret that we’re forced to do this and we will not be turning away birds any longer than necessary

Everything else is the same as on Pam’s version 2.

--VH

*From:* media-advisors-bounces@mickaboo.org [mailto: media-advisors-bounces@mickaboo.org] *On Behalf Of *Michelle Yesney *Sent:* Tuesday, June 14, 2011 9:20 PM *To:* Mickaboo media advisor team *Subject:* Re: [Media-advisors] website message - drafting continued

Actually, I don't care for the phrase "closing our doors" at all, and would prefer that we say we "will not be turning away new intakes for any longer than is absolutely necessary", or something similar.

The current version of this verbiage has hyperlinks to our "List of Other Rescues," "How to Help," and "Contact Us" sections. I assume that the new version would use the same links in the same places. So, are we set to go on this? Can we ask tech team to do the update? Thanks. --VH From: media-advisors-bounces@mickaboo.org [mailto:media-advisors-bounces@mickaboo.org] On Behalf Of Karen Watkins Sent: Tuesday, June 14, 2011 10:11 PM To: 'Mickaboo media advisor team' Subject: Re: [Media-advisors] website message - drafting continued I like this version. When it goes on the website, can it be hyperlinked to the page with the list of rescues? From: media-advisors-bounces@mickaboo.org [mailto:media-advisors-bounces@mickaboo.org] On Behalf Of Vincent J. Hrovat Sent: Tuesday, June 14, 2011 9:39 PM To: 'Mickaboo media advisor team' Subject: Re: [Media-advisors] website message - drafting continued Please see attached, with the following change:

We are not closing our doors forever - just for as long as is necessary

Is now:

We regret that we're forced to do this and we will not be turning away birds any longer than necessary

Everything else is the same as on Pam's version 2. --VH From: media-advisors-bounces@mickaboo.org [mailto:media-advisors-bounces@mickaboo.org] On Behalf Of Michelle Yesney Sent: Tuesday, June 14, 2011 9:20 PM To: Mickaboo media advisor team Subject: Re: [Media-advisors] website message - drafting continued Actually, I don't care for the phrase "closing our doors" at all, and would prefer that we say we "will not be turning away new intakes for any longer than is absolutely necessary", or something similar.