To Vinny’s point, I think our full message needs to “fit” on the same webpage, without the need to page down to see the rest of the message. I’ve been part of an eCommerce group for years, and it’s proven that messages “above the fold” are more effective than those “below” the fold.
Attached is a re-draft to achieve that purpose without (I hope) losing too much of the punch which Vinny artfully created. It’s a thought – I invite further artistic help!
-Pam <<website_msg_draft.doc>>
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