To Vinny's point, I think our full message needs to "fit" on the same
webpage, without the need to page down to see the rest of the message.
I've been part of an eCommerce group for years, and it's proven that
messages "above the fold" are more effective than those "below" the
fold.
Attached is a re-draft to achieve that purpose without (I hope) losing
too much of the punch which Vinny artfully created. It's a thought - I
invite further artistic help!
-Pam <>
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